The Sandwich Song

my alarm went off today at one o'clock in the afternoon
so i got right out of my bed
i went into the bathroom and i looked into the mirror
and i noticed there was jelly on my head
i started looking closer and much to my despair
there was some banana on my face
there was peanut-butter in my hair and there were bread drumbs everywhere
i didn't know just what could be the case

i didn't really understand
i though that maybe someone planned
a very funny gag on me
but i remembered about last night
and things they fit together right
and i figured out just what this could be

i fell asleep eating a sandwich
i fell asleep eating a sandwich
i fell asleep eating a sandwich
and that's why mother said
i shouldn't eat my sandwiches in bed

at this point i started wishing i'd made a normal sandwich
but it was very, very rank
yes there was the peanut-better, jelly, and banana
but that's not all that made it stank
there was mustard and some pickles and a box of raisinettes
there was olive loaf and lemon juice and spam
there was sushi and some jelly beans, some ice-cream cake and leafy greens
plus there was spaghetti and a yam

there was onion peel on the floor
and seedless grapes, but wait there's more
all of this was slopped across my bed
just then my neighbor came inside
and his eyes, well, they opened wide
he asked what happened, this is what i said:

i fell asleep eating a sandwich
i fell asleep eating a sandwich
i fell asleep eating a sandwich
and that's why mother said
i shouldn't eat my sandwiches in bed

all those hunks of gravy on a stick
made me really, really sick
plus the pickles pigs feet they weren't quite dead
and the refried beans and steak 'n' eggs
and carrot sticks and froggy legs
all packed between two slices of whole-wheat bread

i fell asleep eating a sandwich
i fell asleep eating a sandwich
i fell asleep eating a sandwich
and that's why mother said
i shouldn't eat my sandwiches in bed